seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
