if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
