wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
