the condom got lost in my hair
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He had one of those small greek statue penises
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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