whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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