"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
