if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
