5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
