All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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