yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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