I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
