I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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