i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
