oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
