We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
