whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
