I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
