I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
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