I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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