We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
