No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
