chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
