my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
