im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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