I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You pole danced in your parka.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
