Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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