White coat. Heels.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize