idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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