Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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