Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
