I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
