I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
