How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
