The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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