if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
