We're like a lot better than the average bears
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
