idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
