you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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