I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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