I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
