I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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