My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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