I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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