Someone shit on the floor
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize