Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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