A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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