I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
