Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
