Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
