What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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