after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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