I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
