dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
These tits shall not be calmed
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
