god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Randomize
