take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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