ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
