he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You ate ashes out of my bong
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
