those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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