Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
