Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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